The Friends of Charles Darwin

The Darwinian Theory: the errors

Where to begin? The errors within John Young's ballad The Darwinian Theory are both manifold and, I suspect, entirely intentional:

• Oh! have you heard the news of late / About our great original state?
  Darwin's theory explains how we (and every other life-form) evolved from simple beginnings - our original state was not, therefore, great (in the sense of being highly complex) - although, to be fair, I suspect Mr Young was being ironic.
• For each atom may hold a germ complete 
  At the time that Young wrote his ballad, the atom was seen as the smallest form of anything. It could not, therefore, hold anything - although, to be fair, I suspect Mr Young was being ironic.
•  Which, by some mystical process slow, / And selective power, to a monkey may grow, / And from that to a man
  Evolutionary descent is highly dependent on never-to-be-repeated chance historical events. Even though mankind did, indeed, evolve from a germ complete, the chances of retreading that pathway are vanishingly small. It is not, therefore, possible for mankind to evolve a second time - although, to be fair, I suspect Mr Young was being ironic.
• From nothing to something, from monkey to man
  Darwin never claimed to understand how anything came from nothing. Only certain theologians are that arrogant - although, to be fair, I suspect Mr Young was being ironic.
• With a power to select what it wished to be - / A fungus or flower, a bush or a tree
  Undoubtedly Mr Young's greatest howler: under Darwinian evolution, organisms have no choice over how they evolve - it just happens. Young is confusing Lamarkian evolution (which incorporates an element of volition) with Darwinian evolution (which doesn't) - although, to be fair, I suspect Mr Young was being ironic.
• A cow or a sheep, a bug or a flea, / Or, if tired of these, it may change its plan: / Be a cat or a dog 
  More of the same. I repeat: organisms have no choice over how they evolve - although, to be fair, I suspect Mr Young was being ironic.
• But culminating at last in a man
  This phrase implies that man is somehow the pick of the bunch, the top of the heap. Under Darwinian evolution, man is no better than any other animal - although, to be fair, I suspect Mr Young was being ironic.
• Choose yourself your particular section. / A peasant, or Lord with a great connection
  Oh dear! Compare: The rich man in his castle, / The poor man at his gate, / He made them high and lowly, / He ordered their estate (the censored verse from All Things Bright and Beautiful). I suspect Mr Young was being deadly serious.
• etc.
  I begin to tire  You get the gist.

Mr John Young, C.E., was clearly a man with a mission. Unfortunately, it was not a mission to educate the schoolboys of Scotland about their origins. It saddens me to think that the grandfather I never met may once have had to sing this rubbish in morning assembly.

Saturday, 17th May, 2008

There are 271 days to go until Charles Darwin's 200th birthday (12th February, 2009).

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